November 16, 2011

English feelings.

Writing in English here, for me it's like... A secret association, ninjas :B I know that some people can read it, but not everyone, so I know that my prehistoric second language it's like Chinese for some people.
Now I'm calm. But I think that I'm such a stupid girl, with whims like every other teenage girl. FAINT. BADASS. IDIOT OF ME. How could I did that? That demonstrates my foolish mind, that thinks that every moment it's like a love novel.
I'm capricious, I can see. I can accept that. I'm crazy and say lot of nonsense things. I have the custom of moving my hands to accompain my words, like a cinderella with her feet. Sometimes I don't control my facial expressions and begin to have a sarcastic face when someone talks to me. Others, I just have bad face all the time.
It's me, nothing more. I don't want to change, no more that I've already did. But it's getting difficult this task. I love you, with all my heart. And unfortunately I'm the kind of girl that doesn't care of anything except her boyfriend. I can do other stuff, but always you're on my mind. And I can't socialize.
Now I know that that's because of my negative attitude. I didn't knew I was that much agressive. Really, I don't want to have problems or some shit like that. But... I can't understand nothing! I don't want to lose this relation, and sometimes I think that you can't simply love me by who I am, but yes if I change some things. In first place I cannot accept that, how?
But I have to assume the fact that everybody changes, even me, even if I don't want to do it.
I hope I keep the strenght of changing, I hope my head doesn't get me a step behind of the action, because it can be get worst and worst.

~Blondiiitaa.

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